In conversations, people often think about what to say next rather than fully paying attention to what the other person is saying. Instead of using a break in the conversation to further explore the thoughts of the other person, they may use the break as an excuse to express a point of view. People have a tendency to listen selectively, making assumptions about what the other party is trying to communicate, and sometimes interrupting or finishing their statements (IOM, 2009).
The ability to show empathy is a critical skill for those involved in counselling. Empathy is different from sympathy. Sympathy means agreeing with another person’s position or sharing their perspective, whereas empathy means accepting another person’s position or belief and being genuinely interested in it, even if their perspective or belief is not shared. Empathy is sometimes referred to as “walking in another person’s shoes” or “seeing through another person’s eyes.”
The first exchange with new clients is important. Service providers could consider opening with a warm greeting and explanation of their role to help start the conversation and demonstrate respect toward clients. Service providers also need to remain aware of body language and the client’s emotional reactions. Remaining calm and poised helps clients remain calm, and inspires confidence in the service provider’s abilities (IOM, 2009). The goal is to understand the client’s point of view and avoid judgmental attitudes in order to more deeply understand their concerns.